Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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