forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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