Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize