It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize