I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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