do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
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You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
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I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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