Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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