...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
