Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I will be naked everywhere
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.