At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
