you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.