It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
