One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
