Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
