5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
