How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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