She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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