found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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