That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
