the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
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