I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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