real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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