is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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