I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
