we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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