I hate your face
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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