Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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