just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
My ATM looks so different sober.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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