The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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