They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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