ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
