so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
