Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
