yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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