I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
