smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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