yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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