that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
