so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
