just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize