Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
