stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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