Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
