i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
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We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
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I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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