He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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