brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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