scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize