I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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