I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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