We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
