I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
