To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Randomize
