I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
