If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
