i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
