I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
