FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
