Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
