when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
