Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
