I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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