lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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