Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It was like getting head from an anaconda
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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