i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
